{"id":190,"date":"2018-10-24T20:18:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-24T20:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/?p=190"},"modified":"2026-08-15T20:39:49","modified_gmt":"2026-08-15T20:39:49","slug":"why-can-asking-for-help-feel-so-difficult","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/?p=190","title":{"rendered":"Why Can Asking for Help Feel So Difficult?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When we\u2019re struggling, we\u2019re often encouraged to \u201creach out\u201d<\/em> or \u201ctalk to someone\u201d<\/em>. It sounds simple enough, but actually doing it can feel very different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the times when we most need connection are also the times when we find ourselves pulling away from other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There can be many reasons for this. We might worry about being a burden, not know how to explain what is happening, feel ashamed or believe that other people won\u2019t understand. Perhaps we\u2019ve reached out before and weren\u2019t heard, or previous experiences have taught us that relying on other people doesn\u2019t always feel safe. Sometimes we may simply be so overwhelmed that finding the words and initiating contact feels like one more thing we don\u2019t have the energy for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So withdrawing from other people doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that somebody doesn\u2019t want connection or support. Sometimes there are very understandable reasons why reaching towards another person feels difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reaching Out Doesn\u2019t Have to Mean Telling Everything<\/mark><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Asking for help doesn\u2019t have to begin with a complete explanation of everything that is happening. You don\u2019t need to have found the right words, worked out exactly what is wrong or decided what kind of help you need before you can let somebody know that you\u2019re struggling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It might be sending somebody a message saying, \u201cI\u2019m having a difficult day.\u201d<\/em> It could be asking a friend to come round without needing to talk about why, telling your GP that things haven\u2019t felt right recently, or contacting a counsellor without yet knowing exactly what you want to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the first step is simply allowing another person to know that things aren\u2019t okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And finding the right person matters too. Being told to talk doesn\u2019t help very much if previous attempts at talking have left us feeling dismissed, judged or misunderstood. It can take time to find somebody with whom it feels safe enough to begin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Connection Can Start Small<\/mark><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t necessarily need lots of people around us to feel less alone. Sometimes one relationship in which we can be a little more honest about how we\u2019re doing can make a difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re supporting somebody else, it can also be helpful to remember that \u201cI\u2019m fine\u201d<\/em> doesn\u2019t always mean \u201cI don\u2019t need you.\u201d<\/em> We don\u2019t have to force somebody to talk or find the right words for them. Sometimes continuing to be there, listening when they\u2019re ready and making it clear that they don\u2019t have to pretend can be valuable in itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There can be courage in asking for help. But perhaps there also needs to be compassion for how difficult asking can sometimes be<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cover image courtesy of:
Perry Grone<\/mark><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we\u2019re struggling, we\u2019re often encouraged to \u201creach out\u201d or \u201ctalk to someone\u201d. It sounds simple enough, but actually doing it can feel very different.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":191,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=190"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":222,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190\/revisions\/222"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/191"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}