Remember January? It seems an age since everyone was planning their new year\u2019s resolutions. Imagine if we\u2019d known then what we know now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
That yearly gym subscription might have been swapped out for a Netflix or Zoom subscription. For most of us in the UK, March 23rd saw our world turned upside down. Whether you were a key worker returning to a strange and scary new workplace or one of the millions who were told to stay at home, life as we knew it changed overnight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Given the sudden changes in our routine, many of us experienced some form of anxiety and fear; both of our restricted environment and the ever-present dangers of what might lie outside the door. For the many terrible negatives, there have also been a few positives of lockdown. The shared challenge, while keeping us physically apart, has also brought us together. With many of us finding our hectic lives on hold, we\u2019ve had to adapt to a new reality. Whether it\u2019s chatting to neighbours and others in our local community or learning how to get the most from online video chat, most of us have found the time to communicate more with friends and family. Some of us may even have found new friends and communities online. But for everyone who\u2019s adapted to the lockdown, there are many people who\u2019ve found it difficult. Online and distanced communication is good, but it\u2019s not a replacement for face-to-face communication for many dealing with feelings of loneliness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As the Government removes the lockdown restrictions we find ourselves emerging back into a very different world, one where even the simplest activities have changed and many of us are again anxious about what awaits us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re a few months down the line and having adapted to lockdown, we are now being encouraged to get back out in the world. Not in the carefree way that perhaps we\u2019d done in the past, but in a more considered and careful manner. This is another big change when many people are still coming to terms with the last upheaval and may not be ready for more disruption.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During periods of change, it is normal for us to retreat to what feels safe, something familiar and under our control. This might be a person, a space, an object or a pet, anything meaningful to us. This entire process can feel emotionally and physically exhausting. Change can energise and excite or scare and frighten, but either way, we should be mindful of the energy required to undertake big changes in our lives. It\u2019s not unusual to need a rest after the initial spurt of energy. It gives our brains time to catch up with our bodies, allowing us to make sense of things and consolidate what we\u2019ve learnt and experienced. Before making any change, it\u2019s useful to consider the amount of emotional energy involved in embarking on something different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are new rules, alternative ways of socialising, working, shopping and just being in the world. Our senses can feel overwhelmed as we move from one way of experiencing life to much larger environments with many people and different sounds, smells, textures and sights. We will need to find our own way to adjust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like a trip, we might stumble and free fall for a short while, it might be a difficult, painful, funny experience, but inevitably we stop and then find our equilibrium. No two shops have the same one-way system or expectation of their customers, things you might consider such as \u2013 Is there a sanitiser? Do I have to wear a mask? What time can I shop? Can I take a friend with me? These unknowns can lead us to feel anxious, and trying to work them out in the moment can feel like a sensory overload. Too much information to make sense of at one time. Even meeting friends, popping into a caf\u00e9 for a cuppa and a chat requires planning. If we can plan for this in advance, it can make the experience much more relaxing and enjoyable, maybe even a bit of an adventure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone will move through the changes of the last few months at their own pace, and it\u2019s important to recognise what feels right for you. Lockdown has affected people with existing mental health issues differently. Some have found an improvement in their symptoms, whilst others have found their symptoms worsening. Many people with no history of mental health issues have also struggled for the first time. Everyone is unique and trying to find their way through this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One issue that is bound to create worries when coming into contact with more people, is the potential to become ill or even the fear of passing it on to another person. It\u2019s in our nature to want to protect ourselves and our loved ones, but it\u2019s also in our nature to grow and change. Finding the right balance can help to shift from feeling like the world is too big or scary to a mindset of feeling successful and in control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone is experiencing a \u201cNew Normal\u201d. Things are not as they were and may well not be for some time. The \u2018New Normal\u2019 brings to the forefront the need to manage risk. It requires us to stand on the edge of uncertainty and decide how safe we feel and whether we feel safe enough to take a risk. Just that awareness, for some, will be enough to crawl back into bed and bury themselves in the duvet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everyone will start from their own unique place, but however big your first step, you\u2019ve made a start. For many, lockdown may have affected their sense of identity, what they knew about themselves. Perhaps they felt well equipped to navigate changes but then found themselves overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings that they hadn\u2019t expected. Others may have felt they wouldn\u2019t have coped but are now noticing it\u2019s been a time of rest and consolidation. Getting back out into the world can feel even scarier if your sense of self and your abilities have been impacted over the last few months. How your life was and the things you valued before lockdown may no longer be the same as they were. Maybe you have new values and goals in life. Often in moments of crisis things that felt important disappear and new ones that feel more appropriate can emerge. Change can be positive too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Considering options is important to problem-solving, however, don\u2019t allow it to become a cycle of anxiety. Instead, bring your focus to the here and now. It is great to feel hopeful and plan things for the future, but if those thoughts are more about feeling hopeless, then returning your focus to the present can prevent needless suffering. Questions such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you notice that you are caught up in thoughts about the future that are causing anxiety, try simply noticing what is happening. Your brain is worrying and your body may be responding to those concerns, as it is designed to do. By bringing your attention to what is happening in the here and now, you may be able to create a little more space around the worry and notice what might feel helpful next. Look at your environment, interact with it, perhaps move things around, tidy, clean, garden, walk, cycle, take a bath, or use your five senses (touch, smell, hearing, taste and sight) to really engage with what you are doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Check-in with yourself. What do I need now? Are you experiencing feelings that need compassionate care and attention brought to them, or feelings that need a safe outlet perhaps through exercise or relaxation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What can you do for yourself that might help you feel better? How can you accomplish that? Can you run a bath? Can you take a nap or a run? Can you complete a jigsaw? Can you wash? Can you speak to someone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you can, be gentle with yourself through this process, especially as you\u2019re trying something new. It takes practice to stay in the here and now, but it can be an invaluable tool that you can take anywhere with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Noticing what worries you and breaking it down into smaller but more manageable steps is good self-care. If for example, you were planning on walking into town for the first time in 10 weeks that might seem an immense task. Can you break it into smaller, easier steps? Perhaps practice walking towards town and returning home. This would give you the opportunity to see how this part of the activity feels. It can help to build confidence in your physical ability to walk that far, to feel present in the environment, to get a sense of who\u2019s wearing masks, how many people are about, how it feels to wear a mask. You might come across new rules, like one-way walkways or queuing systems that are popping up everywhere. Alternatively, the walk might have been too overwhelming and upsetting, in which case it\u2019s a sign that you may need to take smaller steps. Either way, the initial exploration offers you feedback about what pace you need to be working at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feeling anxious or afraid can make us retreat into a space that feels safe, and sometimes that may be exactly what we need. When we feel ready, taking small, manageable steps can help us gradually reconnect with activities and experiences that matter to us. For example, if you were worried about returning to work for the first time, rather than tackling the whole situation, you could break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can give you opportunities to build confidence gradually and find a pace that feels manageable for you. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Breaking situations down and working them out slowly in your own time can make the overall task less daunting and more manageable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Talk to people, talk to friends, family, colleagues, neighbours, counsellors, GPs, talk to people online and face to face. If you have spent a lot of time on your own or with a select few, striking up a conversation can be hard and sometimes this can be isolating. If you are then finding it difficult to reintegrate, it can feel like you are the odd one out and the only one feeling the way you do. You don\u2019t have to tell them everything all at once if you don\u2019t want to. Sometimes just saying hello is enough. You might begin with the people you trust most and, when you feel ready, take another small step towards connection at a pace that feels manageable for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If it feels helpful, you might gradually expand your experiences. If you go to the park one day, perhaps go somewhere different another time. If you wash the dishes one day, maybe hoover the next. Small changes can introduce unfamiliar experiences without everything having to change at once. If you attempt something and become overwhelmed, allow yourself time to rest and recover. You can make the task a little easier if you need to and return to it when you feel ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As you find your way out of lockdown, it might be useful to keep an eye on the Government website for changes and advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you find yourself unable, for whatever reason, to talk to someone about how you are feeling, it may be helpful to speak to a qualified counsellor or another appropriate professional. It can be difficult when we are caught up in our thoughts and feelings from moment to moment to recognise when we might benefit from some additional support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At Centred Counselling, I aim to listen carefully to your experiences and understand what life feels like for you, so that together we can explore what feels important and what you would like to change. Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to someone outside your everyday life, where you don’t have to worry about burdening or worrying someone close to you. Friends and family may naturally want to offer advice or find ways to fix things, but sometimes what we need is space to understand things for ourselves. Counselling can offer a place to explore what feels right for you and support you as you find your own way forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You may know of someone that has developed anxiety or depression because of the lockdown, and maybe you are supporting them. The following links may be useful in identifying and continuing to help them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cover image courtesy of Evgeni Tcherkasski<\/mark><\/a> <\/strong>on Unsplash<\/strong><\/mark><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Remember January? It seems an age since everyone was planning their new year\u2019s resolutions. Imagine if we\u2019d known then what we know now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":64,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=62"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":249,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions\/249"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/64"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=62"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=62"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/new.centredcounselling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=62"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}